Here’s that update you’re looking for!
What’s up all of you? I’ve missed this. I know, I know. I said I was going to be more consistent but Life is life-ing! I’m just going to jump right in and spill the tea.
Today, this morning rather, I had an epiphany. I realized that for the first time in a long time, I felt content with where I am in life. Now, that doesn't mean I don't have any issues or still want more but, I can sit with myself and be okay with where I am. If you don’t know me personally, here’s a little update. I am about 10 days aways from finishing my Medical Assistant Externship and a little under a month shy of completing and graduating from my program, with a JOB SECURED! (cries cause holy, it’s been a journey.) With that, there’s been a lot of challenges there in itself, on top of things I am dealing with daily in my personal life. The only difference between now and maybe a couple months ago is that I am actually in a place where I’m forced to focus on myself…Whew. That has caused me to set boundaries and put me in uncomfortable places because putting myself first is something I haven’t done before, on a consistent basis. I can not tell you how much I am finally giving myself the credit for pushing through these last two years. Looking back, it all was setting me up to deal with the challenges I am facing now. I’ve been battling with myself because I am being pushed away from ideologies that was once so common to me. I am really having to sit and think with my thoughts and have these conversations with myself and how I am going to handle life where I am. I’ve been video journaling like crazy, and that has been a lifesaver. Since I decided I am in a good enough place mentally to take care of myself, I am taking a hiatus from therapy so, I’ve had to figure something out 😭 100/10, highly recommend it!!! I am learning new things about myself, figuring out my path in this world, listening to the one who really matters (me) and just trying to be present, as much as possible. I’m in the midst of grieving the person I once was. I am paying more attention to the dreams I set out for myself as a little girl because she deserves the world. Whether that means going to my grandpa and I’s favorite hot dog spot during my lunch to cure that slight homesickness I feel while being away all day or just taking a few minutes before I go to bed to just sit outside and find some peace, I do it. I deserve that. I’ve been working my ass off to just be in the space I am currently and I’d be damned if I don’t give myself the grace, the credit and space I know I need and deserve. I am hoping that a few others parts of my life catch up with where I am (because again, everything I deserve, I’m going to get) so I can really enjoy life the way I know I should be but 😂 all great things take time. I mean, look at me, took me a while to get to where I am, right? ;)
What do I wanna leave y’all with? Hmmmm. How about this. I want you to take some time for yourself, and just talk to you. Whether that be writing, speaking by voice memos or video or just simply talking out loud, get those thoughts and feelings you have, out. That one dream you’ve been thinking about? Talk about it. Nobody knows you, better than you. Give yourself time to pour back into you. ❤ Love you all, see you when I do. (:
