Well, hello again! It hasn’t been too long but, in between the last time I posted and today, a LOT has happened. I don’t want to focus too much on that though, as I think I'll save that for another post in the upcoming days (this girl wants to get back to this consistently :0 ). What I DO want to focus on is something I don’t often do but, if I am being honest, I almost yearned for this. It’s time to give myself some praise for all I have been through.
Lately in therapy, the talk around growth and my “stepping” into this new chapter of life has been nothing short of phenomenal. I mentioned how I feel as if I am in this relaxed place in my life where I’m finding myself spending time reflecting. Some of my best friends can attest to me freaking out over some of the thoughts, dreams, and run-ins that I’ve encountered recently and it wasn’t until the other night, sitting in a hotel parking lot that it hit me what’s really been going on. If you aren’t new here, then you have a good feel for me, right? I, (from my POV) am a pretty genuine person who most people love to come across. I’ve talked about how people have taken my kindness for granted, or being taken advantage of, loving despite someone showing they don't deserve what’s in front of them but why focus on that? Why not focus on all of the different attributes I have that make me the wonderful person I am? It’s taken me a LONG…………. LONG time to get to this point but it’s here y’all and has been for a while, it feels good if I should say so myself. Do you know what I have found to be true? How can you expect someone to do anything for you that you don’t even do for yourself? So here it is.
I am so proud of the way I have taken life head-on and remained hopeful on my darkest days. I have pulled myself out of some places that have seemed impossible, I have fought back against the trials and tribulations sent out against me, I never gave up on myself and it’s because there was always this little voice in the back of my head (little me, thank you, sweet girl ❤) telling me that all of this, every single thing I endured was going to help me in the long run. I’ve been battling for the past two years, even more so after I started my program last October. Can we raise a glass to the fact that Wednesday marks my last scheduled day of class, and I will be completely done with all labs and lectures? Yeah, yeah, I did it. 😭 I’ve found so much peace in myself and I owe a lot of it to this program. One day I’ll talk about my overall experience lol. In my time of reflecting, I’ve done a lot of talking, purging almost (weird word to use but, that’s exactly what it is), when it comes to dealing with those thoughts and run-ins I mentioned earlier. I created a video journal album on my phone where I have videos of me just getting it out. I’ve gotten so comfortable with talking myself through my emotions that it’s become easier to deal with the unknowns of day-to-day life. Before I got to this point, I was letting every little thing get to me and throw my emotions all out of wack and wondered why I was always feeling so bad. I couldn’t continue to allow myself to dwell in emotions the way I was. So, through therapy, the videos, the countless voice messages sent to my two best guy friends (I love you both thank you so much), and the guided journaling book from my auntie (thank you, if you’re reading this), I have found myself in a calmer state of mind, finally. I’ve talked about how bad my anxiety has gotten over the last few years and as of late, things have never been this.. stable 😳 I’m grateful. Seriously. I’ve listened to myself when it comes to my boundaries, the people I have, and how involved I want them in my life/part of my process, I'm loving myself, and I am making huge strides toward living the life I want and I’ve done all of this, by myself. When I say that, I only say it because there was a time, not too long ago, when I thought I wouldn't be able to move towards being in the space I am now, without the help of someone else with me. I have gone through my fair share of heartbreaks and aches and chile. It has ultimately allowed me to see the life I want, especially in my 20s (like c’mon girl you’re 23, pipe down), I can do by myself and as I SHOULD. I picked the perfect career field to settle into because it’ll allow me the opportunity to travel and make money while doing what I love. It doesn't get any better than that!! So here’s to me and becoming the best version of myself, every single day. I am finally aware of life’s highs and lows. I’ve faced the uncomfortable and I feel as if I will look back on all of these experiences and be so thankful I went through what I did. Proud me moment. Alright, it’s time to watch my dubs take game 5. Who’s gonna be down to go to the parade in a few weeks??? :)))) #DubNation
As always, I like to leave you guys with what I've been OBSESSED with lately ( I sound like a tiktoker, omg). So today, I got to put Sabrina’s new album out because OH MYYYY!!!!! NEEDto see her in concert, immediately!