this is going to be one of those just type it out, get it on the page posts alright? don’t question why i’m all over the place. also i’m typing this on my phone so sorry but I hate capital letters and i’m going to have fun with these different features in the notes app 😂
see the thing about me is that one time you make me feel good, i’m going to want to hold on to that feeling for as long as I can. no matter how you do it. no matter who that person is.
hello again, don’t know if you guys are hip to it but i’m an overly emotional Capricorn. there’s definitely more to me besides the fact that i’m a Capricorn but it kinda explains a lot 😂. i’m 135% invested in my feelings. There’s only a few things i’m very confident about and my feelings is definitely at the top of the list. I love in many different ways and often times, find myself in sticky situations where i’m on the losing end of the stick. Yeah, i’m not one of those “doesn’t get attached to anything” type of person because idk. everyone deserves love and I have so much of it to give lol. I’ve talked about this in previous posts but unfortunately, I have a tendency to get attached. you can do one nice thing for me and I will think we are meant to bffls til we d i e or it could but one of those you’re the loml situations. I’m so over it because I always set myself up for failure 😭 either it’s an awh, dang “i hate that didn’t work out” or i’m getting played. no in between. 😂 pause. let’s cheers to the fact that I realized that in this certain part of the new chapter i’m in, doesn’t “require” partnership so when I tell y’all i’m really by myself and don’t be talking to nobody, I mean it. so for me to allow access imo is a honor and should be treated as such right? Okay….. yeahhhhh. yeah… y’all know my favorite video 😂 but like my mom said to me today, focus on ME first, everything else comes after. now what do you do when you got the focusing on yourself part down and got a little extra time to spare? 😭🥴 my friend really would like this question answered, thank you.
that day ig was down? whew I got so much done. and it was that day I realized I needed to snap tf out of it. need a tip on how to beat seasonal depression? put your phone down. now i’m saying this as you’re probably using your phone to read this but I mean, in those times when you start to feel it, don’t run to your phone. that’s the issue. ahh. access. yes. no. not there yet. anyways. back to what I was saying. I realized I needed to stop allowing certain things (sheesh and people) to contribute unwarranted thoughts, energy, etc.. so, some changes were made recently and I think I’ve been better for it. I do wish I had a friend or two every now and then that wanted to go out ( I miss TA and Shadymac 😔) and have fun. I want to go to this Haunted Forest but everyone I know are chickens 😂 all these “grown-ass” people scared of a little face paint, c’mon y’all, let’s do better.
can I get serious again?
they are 100% correct when they say depression comes and goes like waves. I don’t know who they are but they aren’t lying. I have been feeling really good, I promise that part isn’t a lie but I do still have my days. I find that sometimes, I have to pay attention to myself a little more or might have to say no because I am still trying to unlearn that version of myself. I mention these personal battles I find myself in and I hate to say it but I have to advocate for myself, against myself. huh? in some situations, the easy way out isn’t always the right decision so I have to get uncomfortable which is something I HATE to do and tell myself to think first. i’m a quick problem solver so i have a hard time understanding that the first solution that comes to mind might not always be the best and this is when that stubborn capricorn-ness comes in because what you’re not going to do is go against me. rant. sorry. y’all don’t think like me? sad. 😂 i’m just kidding. so what’s going on you’re trying to figure out? Mercury is running a gang parade and I am going through it. 😂😂😂😂 Feels like I’m doing a lot of picking up the pieces right now, recovering the leftover things I couldn’t grab during the storm. trying to figure out what to leave and what to keep. how’s that for a metaphor? okay well it’s Sunday night so it’s only right I wish you all a wonderful week. I hope you are productive but not overwhelmed and find some time to make YOU happy! Talk to you all soon. Lots of love. 🤍
“Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt. You fall. But, you keep going.” — Yasmin Mogahed